i went to the 24/7 shop
to fill the void
to feel the void fill with CO2
can something be considered full if it’s full of gas?
if yes, then my life is full of whatever the chemical formula for air is.
good thing i know that vacuum wouldn’t feel any better.

i came home to an empty apartment, to my empty room, dark and lukewarm (just as you are)
without a sound i put the only cure i have on fire
surprisingly, it didn’t hurt.
at least, it didn’t hurt more.

lying on the stone cold floor i remember being so very afraid seeing your eyes for the first time ever
what a miracle, seeing the eyes of a dead person on someone living
the red-lidded black void

who am i kidding,
it hurts like a motherfucker
being rejected
on at least two levels


- 20 nov 2016